Dear Friend,
It’s a time of oscillation, isn’t it? One moment I feel genuinely moved by the scale of nonviolent protests happening around the country and around the world. The next, I’m stopped cold by the sheer volume of images of people repeatedly being dragged out of their cars by ICE. Brutality. Solidarity. Catastrophe. Kindness. Hopelessness. Hope. All of it arriving in quick succession.
And of course, I’m in that rapid fire whiplash, scrolling social media while walking down the street when, naturally, it starts flash raining out of nowhere. No one in London even blinks. They simply ‘keep calm and carry on.’ Meanwhile, still a woefully unprepared Los Angeleno, in the wrong shoes, with an inept jacket, I’m suddenly negotiating mud like it’s a personal affront.
I slog my way back to the apartment, sorry - the ‘flat,’ tracking damp and dirt with me, imminently needing to pee, still scrolling (#obviously), still absorbing, still letting my nervous system take hit after hit. Wet. Rushing. Clenching. Overstimulated. I get inside, grab my boots to rip them off before I drag more mud through the flat, slap the bathroom light switch, peel off wet clothes, and finally get some relief.
At long last, I pee.
Breathe.
Flush.
Pause.
And then I look around.
There are big wet muddy footprints from the door all through the hallway. And on the door to the living room, on the wall right by the light switch, and in the bathroom, are my own small wet muddy handprints. Transferred there in my rush. Carried in without noticing.
And that’s just it, isn’t it?
If you step into the house with muddy shoes, the floor becomes muddy too. I did not mean to make a mess. I wasn’t particularly careless or bad or failing at adulthood (this time).
It is simply that whatever is on us tends to travel with us.
The same thing happens emotionally. When our nervous systems are overloaded and we move into action, that state comes along for the ride. It shows up in the email we fire off too quickly. The conversation we start before we have landed in our body. The choice that might have been wise, but arrives sharp, rushed, or harder than it needed to be. Even the right action can land sideways when it is carried by overwhelm.
And in that moment, sitting on the toilet, looking back at my muddied flat from floor to wall(s), I thought, “My god, overwhelm can create such an overwhelming mess.”
This is what I have been noticing in myself lately. There is so much I care about deeply. So much that feels threatened, uncertain, and moving at high velocity. And at a certain point, all that care starts to blur together. It becomes harder to see clearly. Harder to prioritize. Harder to know how to act without either snapping or disappearing.
So this week, I started paying closer attention. Studying it.
What role is overwhelm playing in my own life? And what role is it playing in the wider moment we are living in?
As I watched it move through me and through the world around me, three distinct patterns began to emerge. Overwhelm being used as a TACTIC. Overwhelm spreading and catching like a VIRUS. And then a third thing that surprised me. The parts of overwhelm that are actually generative. A SIGNAL from the body that something needs tending before more action is taken.
So, Friend, I offer it to you, in case it saves a little mud along the way.
Let’s get to know overwhelm well enough that we are not flattened by it. That we can recognize it, see it for what it is and isn’t, and maybe even use it intelligently. Especially now, when so much is happening so fast, and the temptation is either to react immediately or to shut down entirely.
Let’s take this one piece at a time.
Let’s figure out how to work with overwhelm before it starts working us:
Overwhelm as: TACTIC
Overwhelm changes the way we think. When there is too much information, too many emergencies, too many voices shouting now now now, something in the body flips. We stop thinking long term and stop holding context. We move into management mode: How do I get through today? How do I not fall apart? How do I just make the noise stop for a minute? What should I be doing? Saying? And how much and how quickly?
That state is understandable AND it is also incredibly useful to systems that do not want to be examined too closely. To people in power who want us unfocused and unregulated. Because…
