In 6 Steps: Work *with* Change

I don’t know a single person right now who isn’t grappling with change. Not subtle shifts — massive ones.

Industry-wide layoffs. Leadership shake-ups. Budgets slashed. Entire ways of working, relating, and living… flipped on their heads.

And while the details differ — job loss, political policy, routine upheaval, shifting roles — the emotional undercurrent is the same:

Things feel unstable (to say the least).

And when that happens, our nervous systems kick into high alert. Cue: unconscious reactions.

Over the past few months, I’ve been leading virtual workshops for teams across industries — tech, real estate, venture capital — offering tools to help people meet change in a healthier way.

And I’ve seen the same pattern emerge, again and again:

When you work against change, you suffer.
When you work with change, you suffer less — or sometimes, not at all.

It’s really that simple.
Not easy.
Simple.

What's Really at Risk When Change Hits?

At first glance, it looks like logistical disruption:

• A different role

• A tighter budget

• A new commute

• A change in leadership

But y’all, underneath all of that, is the real-real.
There’s something deeper at stake: your quality of life.

When change knocks, it doesn’t just ask you to adapt your schedule — it challenges your sense of safety, belonging, clarity, and control. Cue: old, often destructive, patterns.

This past week, I met with a team at a very large tech company that’s endured multiple rounds of layoffs. Their structure had changed. Budgets had shrunk. Leaders had turned over. All, several times over. Morale was low low low. Tension was high high high.

The team lead told me:

“Everyone’s burned out. No one feels secure. And any new change — even positive ones — are met with a ton of resistance. It’s tough for everyone.”

Of course it is.
Because when people are constantly reeling from disruption, even growth can feel like a threat.

Change is hard. BUT, here’s the shift:
We don’t have to pile more difficulty onto difficulty.
We can learn to get good at change.

That doesn’t mean we love it.
It means we build the capacity to stay with ourselves in it.
To ride the wave, instead of getting pulled under.

found on pinterest, without authorship

⬇️ If You're in the Middle of Change, Start Here

Let’s break it down:

Change is hard because our brains are wired to protect us.
They prefer the familiar — even when it’s unhealthy — because known = safe.

So when something new shows up?
The brain often registers it as danger. It fills in the blanks with fear-based stories. We move into autopilot. We brace. We resist. We react.

But we don’t have to stay there.

If we can slow the process down, get curious, and recognize what’s really happening underneath the surface — we can respond differently.

And that’s where this workshop comes in, to help individuals and organizations, navigate this volatility more skillfully. As I walk folks through it on zoom and sometimes in-person, I start to see their eyes light up, the look of curiosity at first, and by the end: relief.

So, y’all, let’s try it.

🔹 The 6-Step Reset for Navigating Change

This is a reflection practice you can use any time any change feels overwhelming, frustrating, or unclear. You can journal with it. Run through it in your mind during a meeting or on a walk. Use it to guide a conversation.

What matters most is your attention — and your willingness to be honest with yourself.

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Step 1: Name the Disruption

Ask: What did this change shake up for me?

This is the starting point. Identify what sense of familiarity got thrown off balance — was it your role, your rhythm, your sense of control?

Examples:
“This disrupted my routine.”
“It disrupted my sense of belonging.”
“It disrupted my clarity.”

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Step 2: Notice the Story

Ask: What story did I start telling myself about that disruption?

This is the meaning your brain made up in response. It’s not good or bad — just information.

Examples:
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
“I’m being left behind.”
“This is going to fall apart.”

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Step 3: Get Curious About What’s Underneath

Ask: What fear or need might be driving that story?

This is the tender part. The emotional truth behind the mental loop.

Examples:
“I’m afraid of failing.”
“I need to feel safe.”
“I want to be seen.”
“I’m scared I don’t matter.”

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Step 4: Consider the Cost

Ask: If I hold onto this story as the only truth, what does it cost me?

This step helps you recognize how staying in the story might be holding you back and gives you motivation to do the next two steps; essentially: to do the work.

Examples:
“I shut down.”
“I disconnect from others.”
“I burn out.”
“I miss out on what’s possible.”

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🔁 Shift from Reaction to Response

The first four steps build awareness.
Now, we pivot — from insight to empowerment. From default to choice.

It’s the last two steps that build the bridge from awareness to action, and they are mission critical.

The above four steps can shift so much: just slowing down, noticing the story, and getting curious about what’s underneath. The next two are what get you to the other side.